There's No Baby Here

You start the day giving blood to see if there's a baby here.

Looking down at your panties later, seeing blood.

Getting the message about your negative results.

There's no baby here.

"You can try again!"

"There's always next month."

"Don't worry, it'll happen!"

"It just wasn't your time."

"You can always adopt."

How do you both love and hate your body?

There's no baby here.

And the realization is numbing.

And there's no crying here, where tears usually flow so easily.

And so you book your next appointment, to open your legs.

Again and again and again.